There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
Have you ever seen a peacock in full flight?
I do not own these pics. They were sent to me in an email. But I thought I’d share with you all because they’re just AMAZING.
I feel so stupid I didn’t know they could fly, I thought they were like CHICKENS, I never questioned it because these pictures never circulate, I am WAY OVER MY HEAD.
I came out as a queer during football practice when my coach was like “son, you’re having trouble throwing straight” and I replied “I’m also having trouble being straight”. It got very quiet and then coach just shook his head and said “throw the damn ball, Cooper”
i have been laughing for 3 million years